[KIDS CHATTERING]
[BURPS]
[ALL LAUGH]
[MAKES FART SOUND]
That's truly pitiful. All right, here, watch this, watch this.
[MAKES FART SOUND]
[ALL LAUGHING]
Here we go, here we go.
[BURPS]
[ALL LAUGHING]
What does that finger thing mean, anyway?
All right. Everybody calm down.
[ALL CHATTERING]
Calm down.
Anybody wanna take a guess as to what I'm holding here?
A press break that'll help us against Beecher's full court press?
I wish.
Beecher's scout report on us?
I'd love to take a look at that, but no. Anyone else?
The names and addresses of all the women who won't go out with you?
[ALL LAUGH]
That's a much, much, much thicker file.
No, ladies, these are the academic progress reports
I've been asking your teachers for every week since the season started.
And I have to say, they make interesting reading.
I've read these and the ones before them over and over and over.
And they all say the same thing.
They say that, in spite of all the warnings
I've given all of you over the past few weeks,
your grades continue their downward spiral,
except for a hardworking few who've managed to maintain
a fragile grip on academic mediocrity.
Now, I understand that some of this has to do with senioritis.
I don't care.
You were told in no uncertain terms that your studies were the priority,
and your grades had to show immediate improvement.
Unfortunately, these reports show that they haven't.
Now, I don't know if you didn't have an understanding
of just how serious I was
or you didn't have time to study
[PLAYERS MURMURING]
but now
you have both.
Practise is cancelled?
COACH: You are students here who play basketball,
you're not basketball players who show up to classes
whenever the mood strikes.
Until you prove that you understand that by bringing your grades up,
this season and this team are cancelled.
- Hold on a minute. - What?
[PLAYERS CHATTERING]
You can't do that.
[BELL RINGS]
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
Kennedy High School court is now in session.
All right. Mr. Donnelly, Theresa Harvey, Kevin Dorce.
- Mr. Donnelly, it's... MAN: Ahem.
[ALL MURMURING]
RUSSELL: Guilty. Next.
You didn't even put this in your own words.
You might as well have just photocopied it.
Mm.
[STUDENTS CHUCKLING]
RUSSELL: Guilty. Next.
You've had 52 podiatrist appointments?
[MUMBLES]
David, your mom spells her name with a K.
[SILENTLY] With a K.
Yes, there is more than one way to spell it.
[EXHALES]
RUSSELL: Guilty. Next.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER STEREO]
- Hey, guys. - Hey. How're you doing?
Whew. I've got an English Lit. test coming up in a half an hour.
Unfortunately, I'm more than half an hour not ready.
Been there. We've got a half hour until Chem. Lab and I'm starving to death.
At least our neighbour's stereo is still working.
Somebody needs to hit the store.
I'll leave a note for the maid.
[SIGHS]
You gonna finish that?
Oh, yeah. I am so hungry.
It's not like I hurt anyone.
I don't care. It's an incredibly rude and vulgar gesture
that should never be done in public or anywhere else.
You're lucky you still have those fingers.
My friends and I do that kind of stuff to each other all the time
and no one cares. It's-- It's just a guy thing.
It is not a guy thing.
How would you know?
We heard the door slam. Everything okay?
[EXHALES]
- Don't ask. - I drove up to school this afternoon
and your son was making a gesture with not one, but both hands.
And your son wasn't hailing a cab, hitchhiking or saying "come hither."
On top of that, the principle saw your son not making the peace sign
and the three of us have an appointment with her tomorrow.
Yikes.
[STUDENTS CHATTERING]
What are you doing here?
You're never finished with basketball practise before student court lets out.
- We had a short practise today. - Why aren't you sweaty?
The coach lectured us, gave us some things to think about,
which I am doing as we speak, and that was it.
Do you wanna interrogate me more or do you want a ride?
How far is home from here?
Oh, I don't know. Two, three miles.
Mm.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER STEREO]
So quite a day, huh?
[EXHALES]
[SIGHS]
The guys and I were just goofing around.
Darryl burped and before I knew it,
my fingers were just kind of levitating around on their own.
It just happened. And all in about three seconds.
And, just so you know, everyone thought it was funny.
Except your mom, who picked those three seconds to drive up.
And the principal.
I'll admit, there was an unfortunate element of bad timing at work.
On the other hand, you know your mom and I
aren't fans of that particular gesture.
That's-- It's-- It's disrespectful, it's rude and obscene.
I know.
But I was just hanging out, being one of the guys.
I get it. I really do.
There's something great about hanging out with just the guys.
As long as being one of the guys
doesn't mean being swayed by the guys.
Because for some reason, a lot of guys do really stupid things
when they're with other guys,
things they wouldn't think of doing if they were alone.
And I just don't want you ever to lose your great ability to think
and make decisions for yourself.
[SIGHS]
I won't.
Your mom and I talked about it and we think
a little break from the guys might be a good thing for you.
Say, the weekend?
Your mom and I love you, kiddo. And your fingers.
But just not in their upright and locked position, okay?
If Mom loves me so much, then how come I'm not her son anymore?
I'm just "your son, your son."
[BABIES GIGGLING]
RUTHIE: These babies remind me of that painting, you know,
the one where the woman's eyes follow you everywhere.
- You mean the Mona Lisa? - Yeah, that's the one.
Well, their eyes are supposed to follow you around.
They're living human beings.
Well, it's creepy and I don't like it.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Hey, guys.
- Hey, how's my number one son? - Mwah.
We have so many now, we have to number them.
Why do you smell like furniture polish?
I don't smell anything.
- Hey. - Hey.
[CHUCKLES]
Ahh.
What smells so lemony fresh?
You.
New-- New laundry detergent, I'm not sure.
Anyway I had an early shift at the hospital,
so I thought I'd swing by and say hi. So hi.
Dinner will be in awhile and you know where the washing machine is.
WOMAN [OVER TV]: If you're heading downtown,
stay clear of Flower and Hope streets.
A water main break has two blocks under water.
Also, in a decision that has taken the whole community by surprise,
Kennedy High School girls varsity basketball coach Jason Cleary
has staged a lockout of his own team.
Despite the impressive win-loss record Cleary and his Lady Wildcats
have amassed over the past few seasons,
Coach Cleary has apparently cancelled basketball
for the girls of Glenoak for reasons that,
for now, remain undisclosed.
This is Carrie Chadwick reporting live from Glenoak.
Now back to our regular programming.
Hi. How was your day?
Don't you ever knock?
If someone makes me. Come downstairs.
I don't wanna.
Mom's mad at me, I just got grounded, and, frankly, I've had a bad day.
Mary's basketball coach just cancelled a bunch of stuff
and it was on the news and everybody saw it
and Mary just got home.
Well, if Mary's gonna have a worse one,
I don't wanna seem unsupportive.
[SIGHS]
Okay, so we were all standing around in the hall
waiting for Coach Cleary to show up to start practise,
and instead the guy locks us out of the gym.
I mean, he can't do that, can he?
Can't he be fired for something like that? The man works for someone.
I don't know, I've never heard of this happening before.
I'm not sure what the legal precedent is.
We haven't come across anything like that in court.
This can't happen. This is my senior year
and I have a scholarship to play basketball.
I mean, somebody has to do something.
Why'd he lock you guys out?
Okay, everybody, break it up.
There's nothing to see. Go to your rooms.
Go on. We'll get back to you.
That's okay, go.
Why do you smell like furniture polish?
[SIGHS]
So?
So I heard that some of the girls' grades were slipping
and the coach wasn't gonna let them play until they improved.
Are you one of the "some girls"?
I'm not sure. But this whole thing could mean
no team and no season, which could mean no scholarship.
Not to mention all of the major humiliation,
which is already underway.
Yeah, we understand all of that.
And granted, the news and media aren't helping,
but in a couple of days, all this will probably blow over.
We wanna talk to the coach and see what's going on.
I just told you what was going on.
Yes, and beautifully, but I still wanna talk to the coach.
I wish someone would.
[SIGHS]
I don't wanna jump to the worst-case scenario,
but we can't swing Mary's college tuition
without getting some scholarship help.
No. No, we can't.
[SIGHS]
What are we doing?
Nothing.
Dad said I can't hang out with the guys this weekend.
You can hang out with me.
It's not the same, you're not a guy.
My friends and I are. I even have the chest hair to prove it.
Let's see.
Ow!
Oh, sorry. I thought that was sweatshirt fuzz.
Well, it wasn't. It was a chest hair and it was the only one I had.
Well, if you're such a guy, grow more.
Dad and Matt can't stop.
I will. When I feel like it.
Right now I'm just pacing myself.
Oh, sure.
But with or without chest hair,
I can be just as good a guy as you or your friends.
I don't think so.
I mean, half the stuff we guys do would probably make you throw up.
If I can watch the twins eat, nothing will make me throw up.
[BURPS]
Lame.
[MAKES FARTING SOUND]
I don't have to do the fake kind.
[BARKS]
[CHUCKLES]
So you've got a good case of senioritis
and decided to coast through the year?
Did you think no one was gonna notice
that your grades took the big plunge?
And what kind of disciplined, mature person
decides to coast their senior year?
The kind with a scholarship. You wouldn't know what that's like.
Mom had two babies, Dad just had a heart attack, and now this?
They have enough without having to worry about
the stuff you've been letting slide. You're the oldest.
How can Mom and Dad trust that you'll keep an eye on everyone
when you can't keep an eye on yourself?
Oh, boy, one more lecture about what it means to be the oldest.
How many times do I have to hear this stuff from you?
Until you get it right.
Go away and take your lemony-scented self with you.
So how were things on the court today?
Thanks for asking.
I know it's only student court, but it feels kind of important.
I know that's dumb.
Hey, there's nothing dumb about any part of that.
[DISHWASHER WHIRRING]
In fact, in some ways, what you do is similar to parts of what I do.
You know, people come to me
and they tell me what they're thinking or doing or feeling
and I listen and I give them my perspective,
tell them what the consequences
certain ways of thinking or behaving or believing can be.
Do you think that anyone you saw in court
left with a new perspective on themselves or their behaviour?
- I don't know. - Well,
all you can do is try to provide different perspective.
The rest is up to them and their free will
to see what's gonna happen next.
It may not seem like much, but it is.
I guess we have something in common, huh, Dad?
We have a lot of somethings in common.
This is just one of them.
Your job is a lot harder than most people think.
Well, I'll admit, there are days.
But there's that saying,
"You have to be the change you wish to see in the world."
The Bible or one of those saint guys?
- Gandhi. - Oh. I'll give it a try.
It's easier to say than do.
Hmm. Amen.
[BURPS]
[CHUCKLES]
Hey, Matt what does this finger thing mean?
[RUTHIE GRUNTING]
Ruthie's been showing me some of the guy stuff you taught her.
Like she ever listened to me.
No, but apparently she does watch you.
All right. Quit the witch hunt.
I was just messing around with the guys after school
and it just happened.
Mom saw me, the principal saw me.
And I saw him.
He kind of wiggled his rear around when he did it too.
He was so cute.
Shut up, please.
- Smooth move, ace. - Like you never did it.
If I ever did anything like that, and that's a big if,
I sure wouldn't stand in front of the school
and wave around like I'm trying to land planes.
There was an unfortunate element of bad timing involved.
There was an unfortunate element of bad judgement involved
because better, wiser, more mature judgement
would've told you to look around and scope things out first.
I got caught up in the frenzy of the moment.
That doesn't make me a criminal, it just makes me a guy.
I get it, believe me.
But you know, when I got older,
I learned that being a guy is one thing and being a man is another.
That guy stuff has nothing to do with being a man.
A man stands up for himself and the people he loves.
He looks out for them and protects them.
And he takes responsibility for his actions.
- That's it? - Yeah.
That can't be right. There has to be more to it than that.
It sounds easier than it is.
Heh. I'm sure.
And in the meantime,
you got to have fun doing all that guy stuff with your friends
until you got older and figured out it was stupid.
But thanks to you, I know that now. Seven years too early.
And now nothing's gonna be the same
because every time I go to burp, every time I think, "Hey, spit on Darryl,"
a little voice in my head is gonna say, "That's stupid."
But thank you, Matt. Thank you for making me a man.
Yeah. Thank you.
I'm sorry.
Why don't you come and hang with me and the guys
at my apartment tomorrow. Watch the game, eat some pizza.
I'll get back to you.
Ditto.
Oh, and by the way, that under-the-arm...?
- Honking? - Yeah, Mom hates that other word.
But she can live with "honking."
As a word, not an activity.
And that under-the-arm-honking thing you do,
needed a little work, anyway.
I'm sorry, but don't you have other dreams to dash?
I mean, shouldn't you be telling the twins about prostates and taxes.
You'll thank me one day.
Oh, I'm sure. Of course.
[MAKES FARTING SOUND]
[CHUCKLES]
[WHIMPERS]
Do you think Simon's right?
I don't understand what guy stuff is because I'm not a guy?
Well, guys are wired differently, but you seem to know that.
I don't know, Matt doesn't seem to have suffered
because he was raised by a dad and a mom who wasn't a guy,
instead of by a dad and a guy.
- Simon was just acting... - Like a guy. I know.
No. Like a 13-year-old who was embarrassed in front of his buddies.
He'll get over it.
[PHONE RINGS]
Ah. Little help? Ah.
Hello?
Yeah. Cramp. Cramp. Whoa.
Mm-hm. Thank you very much.
That was Ms. Russell.
Apparently, there's been quite a response to the team lockout.
Coach Cleary had to take his phone off the hook.
Well, that explains why I couldn't get to him.
Ms. Russell scheduled a group meeting
for tomorrow afternoon.
You guys are gonna go, right?
Well, we have a meeting with Simon's principal tomorrow,
but we'll be at your meeting too.
We wanna hear what the coach and Ms. Russell have to say.
- You won't believe it when you do. - Probably not. Heh.
[BABIES BABBLING]
Sorry for interrupting. Would it be okay if I stayed here overnight?
My apartment is hugely loud.
Oh, of course.
Yeah, I just need a little peace and quiet to think about things.
Any of them things we can help with?
No, it's a little bit of everything. Classes, life,
maybe moving back home, that kind of thing.
Ah. That kind of thing.
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
I'm pretty sure you won't be surprised to hear
that Simon's behaviour is considered unacceptable at school.
Well, it's also considered unacceptable at home or in nature. Heh.
A three-day suspension from school is the standard consequence.
Look, I'm not advocating what he did, but three days?
That seems like a little bit of an overreaction.
Simon's behaviour falls in the category
of harassing, gang or indecent gestures.
ANNIE: But Simon's a good student with a good track record at school.
And as far as his gesture goes, it was rude and vulgar,
but nothing more or less than that.
And he has apologised to us and to you.
Simon is not, and never will be a harasser, gang member or indecent.
I'm sorry, but we are talking about school policy.
No, we're not. If you had been listening at all
you'd know that we've been talking about my son.
Come on.
I'm sorry, Reverend Camden.
Please, talk to your wife.
Oh, don't worry, I will.
I wanna tell her she was right.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Hey, are you okay?
We'll figure something out.
If nothing else, we'll have three days of quality time.
It's not that.
It's just that
yesterday
I thought you didn't want me.
- For what? - Your son.
What?
I overheard you telling Dad that his son did this
and his son did that a bunch of times.
The front tyre looked a little low.
And that can't be good.
I didn't mean it that way. It just came out.
That's what happened with my fingers in front of the school.
They just came out.
I guess we have something in common, huh, Mom?
I guess we do.
I think I was upset with you because that gesture is just so--
Vulgar and indecent?
Yeah.
But it's also ordinary.
It's like the people who use that gesture
aren't smart or clever enough to think of something better to do.
I remember when I'd just had you in the hospital and I was all by myself.
And I was holding you, and looking at you
and thinking how amazing it was
that I could be part of this extraordinary thing.
And you, Simon Camden, have grown up to be
one of the most extraordinary people I know.
So I guess, even if it was a normal guy thing,
I was disappointed to see you doing something so ordinary.
- I'm sorry, Mom. - Me too.
For everything.
I love you, Simon.
I love you too, Mom.
Did you see the thing about the team lockout on the news last night?
We heard what happened.
What was Cleary thinking?
I mean, you guys are tied for first place.
You got a shot at the league championship.
Word is, it's some kind of grade thing.
So what?
If you guys are meeting the league's minimum GPA,
that's all that matters.
That kind of information is in the league bylaws,
Cleary should read them.
Yeah. Where could we get a copy?
The league office should know. You should give them a call.
- Well, good luck, guys. - Yeah. Hang in there.
- Thanks. COREY: Thanks.
Got a quarter?
I heard that a couple of girls failed drug tests, that why.
- What? - I heard that the whole team
was into buying tests and that's why he locked them out.
You've gotta be kidding.
I also heard a couple of the girls are really Russian ringers
brought over here to help win the championship.
And with the collapse of the Soviet Union's economy,
that makes sense.
- On what planet? - Okay, then what happened?
You can't tell anybody, but their grades fell.
That's it? You've gotta be kidding.
I thought if it was on the news, it had to be something good.
Yeah, the women on TV made it sound really juicy.
But don't tell anybody I told you.
I promised Mary I wouldn't say anything.
- No problem. - You've got it.
Thank you, thank you. I'll see you later.
[ALL CHATTERING]
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING OVER STEREO]
I know we had a study date and I'm sorry I'm late.
But something came up
and I had to keep an eye on the twins for my parents.
I can't take much more of living like this!
- Is everything okay? - Not exactly.
Mary's basketball coach has temporarily cancelled the season
because the team's grades, including Mary's, are down.
Simon got caught giving the finger at school, got suspended,
and Ruthie gave it to me and asked me what it meant.
What'd you tell her?
I told her to ask my dad.
You know, I'd laugh too, except my parents have two new babies.
My dad just had a heart attack,
and my brother and sisters have lost their minds.
And my dad's heart attack proves
that there is a limit to how much he can handle,
but nobody understands that but me.
Hey.
- Hey. - What's going on?
Things are out of control at my house.
With my dad's condition and all, I'm thinking about moving back home.
Well, did your parents ask you to move back?
No, but you know them.
I mean, they wouldn't no matter what they were going through.
Well, I can't handle the rent on this place alone,
so I hope you give me some notice
whenever you're done "thinking" about it.
Of course I will, I--
[SCOFFS]
What's his problem?
You know, if I do this-- If I do it.
--I'm doing it for my parents, not for myself.
- Are you sure? - Absolutely. Yeah.
Okay then.
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
Danny was right. The league requires that a player
have a GPA of 2.0 or higher to be eligible to play. That's it.
GIRL: Huh. Oh.
[GIRL CLEARS THROAT]
Coach Cleary, a comment on the unprecedented lockout
of a team by its own coach?
Coach?
I hope I'm not interrupting.
I'm Carrie Chadwick from Channel Eight news.
It looks like the Lady Wildcats may be locked out.
They're still a team.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
You know, after the big meeting today,
the coach and the school might issue a statement.
But it's an official statement.
And official statements don't always tell the whole story,
if you know what I mean.
Oh, yeah.
Coach didn't have the right to do what he did.
You're kidding.
LUCY: No. Don't worry about us. We'll be fine.
Yeah, these guys are in good hands.
[MAKES FARTING SOUND]
Ignore her. She's just trying to be one of the guys.
Underarm honking is not a guy thing.
SIMON: It is too. LUCY: No, it's not.
Anybody can do it.
[MAKES FARTING SOUND]
[BOTH LAUGH]
- Ahem. - We shouldn't be gone long.
I'm sure the whole thing's just a question of airing a few things out.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[MAKES FARTING SOUND]
[BABIES BABBLING]
[SIGHS, WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY]
[ALL CHATTERING]
Hey, over here.
ANNIE: Hi. MAN 1: Hello, Camdens.
- Good to see you. - Hi, Dee Dee.
WOMAN: Hi, Reverend. MAN 2: Good to see you.
MAN 3: There we go.
[SHUSHING]
If everyone shuts up, we can still hear.
Ten bucks if you trade places with me.
Twenty, and you can have both of ours.
- Lucy will tell us what happened. - Oh, yeah.
RUSSELL: I know you all have a lot of questions
about the coach's recent decision,
but why don't we let him explain a few things
and then he'll answer your questions. Coach?
Well, I'm not sure how much or what version of the story
your daughters told you,
but you're holding your daughters'
most recent academic-progress reports in your hands.
And I know you don't track your kids' grades on a week-by-week basis,
but I do,
and I'll bet more than a few of you
will be a little surprised at what you see.
You weren't sure your grades were slipping?
And let me point out
that despite repeated warnings and offers of academic assistance,
the girls on this varsity team have continued to allow their grades to fall.
My daughter's grades are my business, not yours.
You're just a basketball coach.
CLEARY: True, true.
But as their coach, I care enough about them to do what's best for them.
And making them take their schoolwork seriously
is what's best for them.
Is it true that the girls met the league's eligibility requirements?
Yeah, but the league's eligibility requirements are substandard,
especially for these girls.
Who are you to say?
Basketball is the only shot my kid has at a scholarship.
Now, how dare you take that opportunity away from her?
How dare your daughter give that opportunity away?
And just where do you think she's gonna get a scholarship
with grades like that?
The guys' team doesn't do this.
Well, then, your maybe daughter should try out for the guys' team.
No, you should be fired, and we should sue for discrimination.
Wait a minute.
All right. All right, everyone, look,
no one wants to see this situation come to that.
But everyone seems to be forgetting
that the girls are dictating the schedule here.
Now, when they get their grades back up, practises will start up again.
But until that happens,
the athletic director and I are gonna support the coach.
Mary Camden is our daughter. She's senior captain,
she's the first freshman to make varsity in years.
She's overcome injuries and knee surgery to keep playing the game.
As hard as she's worked and sweated through everything, so have we.
Our commitment to her, and this game and this team
may be different from hers, but it's no less invested.
Did you know your grades were slipping?
Is there something you could've done to stop them from slipping?
[SCOFFS]
Did Coach Cleary tell you what would happen if your grades kept slipping?
Then for now we're gonna respect this lockout.
[CROWD MURMURING]
- What? - I'm sorry, kiddo.
Your coach didn't blow it, you did.
[SIGHS]
Sure is quiet around here.
Too quiet.
Mary's not yelling, door-slamming or stomping around.
That's not good, not good at all.
No, not good at all.
Hang on, I've got an idea.
[WHIMPERS]
Go on, Happy. Go upstairs. Go see Mary, go.
I hope she goes to the right place this time.
Yeah, I know.
It took a big hunk out of my savings to replace the baby monitors
after the last time I tried this
and Happy went and laid under the Tripp's sprinklers.
I can't believe any of this is happening, Corey.
My own parents stabbed me in the back.
I don't know, what did you have in mind?
MARY: Well, the last part's a little extreme,
but I can handle the part where we go get something to eat.
That last part's a little extreme?
I'm not sure what that means, but it definitely means something.
Should we tell Mom and Dad?
Probably.
MATT: Simon, let's go.
We have to pick up the pizza before the game starts.
Don't worry, Dad, I'll put some money in the pot for you.
And that's what guys do, right?
I mean, they eat pizza, bet on the game,
try to cover the spread.
I guess so.
Wait, you can't go, you're not a guy.
Why, I'm just as good a guy as any of your friends.
Ahem. Why don't you stay home and do something with Lucy and me?
Kill me.
No, thank you very much. I'd rather go to guys' night at Matt's.
It's okay with me if it's okay with you.
Well, how guy is this evening gonna be?
Typical stuff, no big deal.
You know, I do go to school, I play on a football team
and I've seen MTV.
So if there's something else out there, bring it on.
That is so reassuring, my little flower.
MATT: Come on, you guys. Let's go.
[DOOR OPENS]
Since it's not a school night,
would it be okay if I went out with the girls?
Or am I grounded because of everything that's been going on?
I know you're upset, but I'd appreciate it if you'd watch your tone.
I'm sorry.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
They were just gonna drop by to see if I could go with them,
but I'll just tell them that I can't.
We know you might wanna vent with your friends.
Just do it quickly and come right home.
Thank you.
- Your friends are in the foyer. - Thanks.
How was student court?
We didn't have it today because of the big team meeting.
I hope we did the right thing with Mary just now.
Well, she can blow off some steam with her friends,
and we'll talk to her some more when she gets home.
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
This whole thing stinks.
It's true, the guys' team doesn't have to do this.
No other team in the league has to put up with this.
No other team in the world has to put up with this.
And I don't appreciate being used as an example.
- Especially during my senior year. - No kidding.
This is my last year of playing high school basketball.
I've worked since sixth grade to be on this team
and the coach decides to go on a major power trip now?
No kidding. Cleary's a case.
At least your dad didn't stand up and humiliate you in front of the world
- before stabbing you in the back. - They had help.
- Did you hear Ms. Russell? - This whole thing makes me nuts.
I just wanna go over to the gym and, you know.
- Yeah. - I know. I know.
And Matt hasn't said anything more about moving back home
since he declared he was thinking about it.
I have a feeling it's gonna come up again, don't you?
Yeah, but we don't have to decide to do anything until he does.
[BABIES COOING]
- Is the game over already? - No.
Ruthie's honking got to everyone and we were asked to leave.
What?
- I was being one of the guys. - Oh.
Honking doesn't make you a guy, it makes you a pig.
A pig who gets us kicked out of guys' night.
Okay, okay. I'm not married to it.
I just thought that's what guys were supposed to do when they hung out.
You were wrong. You were very, very toxically wrong.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Great. I just taught myself a lesson.
I hope you're happy.
I wouldn't say happy, exactly.
You know how we feel about burping,
sneezing on each other or each other's food,
spitting or anything to do with your or anybody else's nose,
or pretty much anything that comes out of your head,
and yes, honking.
It's rude and gross,
but accidents happen and you have to say "excuse me."
But accidents shouldn't happen very often.
- Yeah. - Close enough.
Matt, excuse me.
You're not excused, but I forgive you.
I'll take what I can get.
[SIGHS]
Listen, is it okay if I finish watching the game downstairs?
- Sure. - Great.
I realise I've been living in a different world lately,
but it is definitely time to come back.
Sure, Lucy's doing great.
The nut doesn't fall far from the old tree, does it?
Oh, no. No, it doesn't. You're two peas in a pod.
- Yeah. - What are you hinting at over there?
That somehow what's been going on lately is your fault?
Well, not exactly, but if I'd been on top of things,
you know, at my post, I might have seen them coming.
We love our kids,
we work really hard at trying to be good parents
who set the right kind of examples,
but there comes a point in life where you just have
to throw them out into the world and pray.
What about Mary?
Maybe we threw her too far.
Mary's a good kid.
We'll get through this.
Yeah.
[BABIES COOING]
[CLATTERING]
[FOOTSTEPS]
MAN: Hold it, that's enough.
You're under arrest.